I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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