...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we're making bets on your personal life
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
