also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
