The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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