If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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