The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
