Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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