hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
