so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Non-Jews are for practice
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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