Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
