Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
