Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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