I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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