You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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