god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
