Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
