I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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