I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
