i'm signing you up for texting rehab
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
