Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
