if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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