u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
another moral hangover. fuck.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
