He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
