You're my little dorito
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
