I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
