The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i dont even know how to be here
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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