there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She's the barista slut.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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