I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
