i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
