So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
