K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
