Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
