Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
