Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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