I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
