You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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