Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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