so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
