My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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