a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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