nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Who died my cat blue again?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
