her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
