covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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