Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There are leaves in my underwear?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
