I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
