Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
