I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
