Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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