FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
