That's intense
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
