I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
